I don't think that I've ever let an entire month pass by without updating my Xanga...I guess I'm not as into documenting my thoughts and experiences as much as I was before. Not to say that life has been less interesting...it definitely hasn't. Over the past six weeks, I've moved to a new place with roommates, started another photography class at Palomar, shot two more weddings, went to at least two concerts that I can remember, one of which I played drums on stage, went on some really fun dates, recorded a few songs at Ray's studio...yeah, life has been very busy. For a while it was pretty overwhelming, but I think things are getting to a more manageable, but still busier than usual level. But it's a good busy.
There's more I want to write about, but I'll save it for another time...lots of pictures I want to share too!
A lot has happened in the past 13 months living on my own in my own place. A lot of this was inner stuff, though. Sure, there were some cool events here and there, notably some cool concerts and a nice trip to Hawaii. More importantly, however, was that I learned a lot about myself and how I become when I'm left to my own devices. Looking back to when I first moved in: it was a tumultuous time, days spent maxing myself out working two jobs, trying to settle into my new place and put everything away, while trying to stay afloat spiritually. After a couple months of that, I felt more settled, but quite alone. I spent a lot of time watching TV shows on the internet, planning for my move to Hawaii in May '08, and talking on the phone a lot, just to maintain some connection with people on my little island in San Marcos. After that, I got a temporary roommate, which had it's ups and downs, which were only intensified by the apartment being so small. It was somewhat of a trying time, but I did learn a lot about standing up for myself in a tactful but no less forceful way. A few months later, I had the place to myself again and I tried to ready myself for my then-upcoming move to Hawaii. After the trip, I decided not to move for the time being, and I settled into a time of extremely comfortable routine. Week after week of working the same shifts, going to the beach the same days, working out the same days, spending hours on the computer. I've felt for the past month or so a need to move on quickly to the next thing. I pondered this tonight as I sat on my patio for one of the last times ever. In less than three weeks, I will be embarking on the next chapter. Funny thing is, that although I'll be moving to a place that's only about 120 feet away, life will be different. I know that there will be challenges, but I know that they will be good challenges. Having roommates again, in a small place nonetheless, will help me to really practice giving to and loving others, as well as denying myself, in a 24-hour-a-day setting, which, in a spiritual sense, is a good thing. It will also help me to be more "in the mix" when it comes to my church family. It will also be a (positive) challenge in that it will help me to take God a whole lot more seriously. There's something about living with roommates that also follow God that helps call us all a little bit higher. There are some people that are naturally inclined to follow God without needing extrinsic motivation, but then there are the rest of us, which probably comprise the majority of Christians, that need that extra push that comes from not wanting to disappoint or discourage others with our actions (or lack of actions). I fall into that majority. On my own, I've learned about myself, that it is my natural tendency to drift into selfishness and solitude at night when I'm tired, only desiring to spend time with others early in the midday, when I have the energy. God teaches us to love at all times, though, and this will help me to do just that.
As I was sitting on the patio tonight praying and reflecting, I realized that I should have spend so many more nights in this apartment on that patio doing just that, instead of on the computer playing "Word Challenge" or watching YouTube videos. I also realized that I am going to really, really miss this place. This was my first place on my own, and I was here for more than a year. But now it's time for the next chapter. I need to relish the last few days that I have here, while also knowing that this move is definitely for the best, and it's necessary to keep moving on. God wants me to live a life devoted to him, not to extreme comfort.
Videos from the Beach Boys concert
In late July, I went to another Beach Boys concert in Alhambra. I reserved my spot in front of the stage nearly 4 hours before the show, but it was well worth it! Here's some videos:
Do It Again:
Summertime Blues (the best video I took that night):
Little Honda:
Ballad Of Ole Betsy:
Forever (with John Stamos on lead vocal):
Getcha Back
These videos look and sound even better when you watch them in "high quality" mode on YouTube.
There's nothing like a Beach Boys show to help remind you that it's OK to have fun! The shows in the past few years or so have really gotten a lot better. From about 1998 to 2004 or so, there were some times when the harmonies were a little rough or the show was weighed down with overly long comedy routines. But Mike & Bruce really put on a "10 stars out of 10" show these days, especially since Scott Totten has taken over as Musical Director. He really has a love for the music that long pre-dates his tenure with the Beach Boys band, and it shows. The personnel changes have, for the most part, been for the best for the overall sound. Randell Kirsch has a much more Beach Boys-sounding falsetto than Adrian Baker, for example. John Cowsill's drumming more closely resembles Dennis Wilson's drumming than did Mike Kowalski's. Also, you can tell that the band is genuinely having fun most of the time.
When We Get To Surf City
I've been reading a great book by Bob Greene, a well-known author and journalist, called "When We Get To Surf City". He wrote a book that I really enjoyed in high school called "Be True To Your School". It was actually just a journal he kept throughout high school in the 60's that he got published, but I really related to a lot of it. Little did I know that in the 90's that he was invited to play with Jan & Dean for several years, initially because of one of the band member's interest in that same book. For years, he lived out a (non-paid) dream while maintaining his career in journalism. He toured the country with 60's surf-music legends that were 2nd only to the Beach Boys. (For those who don't know, their biggest hits were "Surf City", "The Little Old Lady From Pasadena", "Drag City", "Honolulu Lulu", among others). I've been eating this book up since I got it. It's really cool to read about all the places Bob got to visit, his experience with Jan, Dean, and the other band members (almost of all of which have played with the Beach Boys at one time or another), and his interactions with the fans. If I had the musical talent, I'd probably be trying hard to get into this position. I'd gladly tour the country on my off days, paid or not, to be on stage with Mike Love or Al Jardine or Bruce Johnston or Brian Wilson or David Marks (or all of the above!) Even if I was just the "hand-clapper" or the triangle player! What an experience that would be, if even for just a handful of shows! When you ask me what my dream job would be, it would definitely would be to play music I love for people to enjoy around the country. Maybe it's time to invest in developing a musical talent!
I read this quote from a book I was reading at the bookstore (this may be paraphrased):
The difference between winners and losers is how they respond to failure.
I've been feeling a lot of my failures lately, and they have really been a blow to my self-esteem, but I have to realize that allowing my failures to keep me from continuing on toward my goals is just like writing myself off and resigning myself to mediocrity. That's no way to live.
I went to the cardiologist today and he ran a stress test on me and told me that I was fine. The sharp pains I was feeling on the left side of my chest (and still feel once or twice a day) were due to an injured muscle probably from when I was doing flys while on the exercise ball at the gym. My friend was showing me different ways of doing exercises that I've been doing for years, and we were doing more sets than I was used to, and I guess I pushed myself a little too hard without realizing it. Anyway, I'm glad that my heart is fine and healthy, but man, that was a pretty expensive workout! I haven't gotten the bill yet from the three doctors I visited (including an ER visit) but I'm pretty sure that I'm pretty close to my maximum out-of-pocket of $3500 that my insurance requires me to pay. I pay 40% of any services, up to $3500 annually. I expect to pay at least $2000; hopefully I'm wrong.
Thankfully, one of my cars has been fixed, and it only cost me about $250. My mom let me borrow a car for a couple of days, and I got it back yesterday. There's nothing like your own car...it just makes you feel at home. The other car should cost even less to fix...it's an easy fix, but it is pretty undrivable in its unfixed state. I'll probably try to sell it soon.
This heart thing really scared me...I'm a fairly fit person, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to health problems. Even though it turned out everything was fine, it really made me reconsider how I treat my body. I started eating healthier and eating more healthy portions as well. One day, if I'm not careful, the frequent eating unhealthy could easily catch up to me. Now is the time to help prevent that. It also helped me to realize that I really should take my walk with God a lot more seriously. When you're having what seems like potentially life-threatening chest pains and trouble breathing (which turned out to be due to anxiety from having chest pains), all of a sudden certain things become more important, while others become unimportant.
Anyway, I'm glad that I'm OK...although last week was VERY expensive, the stress of that pales in comparison to the joy of knowing that I'm healthy and fine for now.
